To eat or not to eat

So this sadly ( pathetically)  is more a venting post then anything else.

I had a flare up that started mildly on Friday and progressed into a mega beast over the weekend into Monday. I hate that even with being 98% strict with my diet, quantity, and quality I still can't mange or control these flare ups. Sometimes I am lucky and feel one coming and switch to fluids only (such a fun thing) making it disappears before becoming a full blown disaster. But mostly boom when one begins I am down and out.... Sometimes for days. 

On Monday the vomiting was so intense I started having nose bleeds. My poor two year old Charlotte was so freaked out it broke my heart. She couldn't stop trembling and crying about my "broken nose" for hours. Not something I had ever invisioned subjecting my children too. 

 I need food, I want food yet when I eat food I get sick. It's a mind game that sadly I feel like I am too often on the loosing end of. On a fluid only diet I am weak, loosing weight, cranky, sad, hungry oh so hungry and I miss the actually action of eating terribly. I still have to make meals and snacks for the family which is a whole different level of torture. I can loose anywhere from 2-10 pounds in a week from fluid only diet. Making me weaker and sicker feeling and looking. When eating small balanced meals like the ones I post I can maintain a healthier weight, enegery level and mood . But it seems like my flare ups and pain are stronger and longer lasting. It's also seems that they are becoming stronger in general. Like the GP is progressing. 

It's the new normal having mom walking around with heat packs and tea and getting up at any given time to go vomit and then return to whatever I was doing. Our youngest often asks me "how's your belly feeling mama" or I hear Ellie saying "oh moms going to throw up" if I leave the room suddenly and my oldest makes plans and then looks at me and goes " if you aren't too sick then". It's like I have become a unreliable person. And that is a first for me, I am use to being accountable and punctual. The kids, bless them don't seem to love me any less and are really starting to consider it all "normal". 

My husband is a trooper, having a suddenly sick often vomiting wife can't be fun. But he never lets on to that, and for that I feel so blessed. 

It has been getting me down that I no longer can function "normally". I am easily tired, often sore, weak, foggy, starving, anxious, overwhelmed and did I mention starving?! I once read this disease is like slowly starving to death and I think that person may have been right. Even when I am at a more healthy weight ( heighest BMI to date 17.6) I am still hungry, feeling deprived and feeling anxious about food because I know it's so fleeting and could be days again before the next meal stays down.  

All that venting said and done I know I am incredibly blessed and that I have numerous healthy days where I can act normally and pass as disease free. But the physiological part has been wearing at me. 

Hoping some day sooner then later they find a way to repair the Vagus nerve and this will all be just a bad dream!:)

- JVW 

Eliminating sugar

We recently lost a dear friend to breast cancer. She was an incredible women and the most inspirational fighter! After her vigil my husband and I had a long drive home without our girls to discuss life, health and dealth. I know so much is random and uncontrollable but we stared discussing the small things we could control! Diet being key, we have always eaten well and limited any junk food. Our kids have never had soda and limited pre made cookies, chips, cereal etc... However things slowly accumulate over time. We decide to really reevaluate our pantry, fridge and freezer. 

Lucky for me the following day was a snowy one and I started fine tooth combing over all our products. I was floored by all the hidden sugar!!! In bread, bagels, organic mayo, organic ketchup, organic marinate, peanut butter, organic jelly, gluten free bread..... List was endless it was EVERYWHERE! As was some sneaky Gluten. 

After a big purge and a big reboot we were back on track. A trip to trader joes and a lot of label reading got us some new ketchup, mayo, peanut butter and jelly. We are all learning to live without a few favorite items and taking more time preparing our snacks. The house is stocked with healthy nuts, grains, flours, maple syrup, honey, spices, condiments, unsweetened plain yogurts, eggs, cheese, milk, orange juice, veggies and fruit. I also got some puffed millet and Kermut which are single ingredient items to replace cereal when homemade granola isn't desired. We made some homemade bagels and found delicious four  ingredient  bread from our local bakery, wheat, Yeast, water, salt= amazing! 

I have always been a from scratch cooker and baker but realized we had gotten lazy with our breakfast cereals and snack options. I feel so much better being back on track and keeping our food as local, organic, unprocessed, sugar free as possible. I know eating clean and simple is the easiest way for me to manage my gp and keep us all feeling great and healthy! 

-JVW

Rice flour muffins

I Try and  bake 100% Gluten Free ( our 4 year old has Gluten intolerance) and sugar free (for health reasons) when I sweeten bake goods I try to use apple sauce, maple syrup, honey or coconut sugar. 

I made two batches of these muffins, one savory as a dinner biscuit type muffin and one sweet for dessert. Both turned out very well especially taking into account the healthy, basic, clean ingredients. 

Please remember for most GP people a huge percent of their tolerance is based on quantity. One muffin is one serving. Too many will make your fiber content too high and could cause flare ups. 

I had one two days ago when they were hot out of the oven and one yesterday for breakfast, both times they were tolerated well by me.

The recipe calls for 1 cup rice flour and makes 6 muffins- so that is .66g fiber and .33g fat from the rice flour

I used coconut milk, which has a bit more fat but healthy fats. Low fat milk works as well.

Heat oven to 425

Savory: 

1whole egg

3/4 cup low fat milk or coconut milk or almond milk ( I used coconut in sweet version and low fat milk in savory both work)

2tbs coconut oil ( or any kind of healthy oil) can be omitted

1 cup white rice flour

2tsp baking powder

1/2tsp salt

Mix everything in large bowl I used a spatula mixes easily

Let rest 2-5 minutes scoop into 6 lined muffin tin. Bake 17 minutes until top is a bit firm to touch center is moist not wet. 

Sweet

1whole egg

3/4 cup low fat milk or coconut milk or almond milk ( I used coconut in sweet version and low fat milk in savory both work)

2tbs coconut oil ( or any kind of healthy oil) can be omitted

1 cup white rice flour

2tsp baking powder

1/2tsp salt

2tsp vanilla

1/3 cup mini chocolate chips 

Mix everything in large bowl I used a spatula mixes easily

Let rest 2-3 minutes scoop into 6 lined muffin tin. Bake 17 minutes until top is a bit firm to touch center is moist not wet. 

Enjoy 

- JVW

Apple spice cake

I recently purchased Against all Grain's cookbook, it is amazing! It's truely clean, delicious, easy, healthy recipes. Her philosophy and ideas are in sync with my own. I wish more GP'ers would try her style of clean, gluten free eating. Eating fresh, clean and gluten free makes a tremendous difference in my daily life and managing this illness. 

I love baking and playing around with recipes and ideas. Her Apple Spice Cake ( at againstallgrains.com) popped out at me as a wonderful Sunday cake option. Go to her website and check out the original it looks incredible! I edited this recipe to make it GP friendly so I could enjoy it with my family. Thus far it seems to be sitting well with my digestion. I had 1/8 of the cake for mid day snack.

For the cake
2-1/2 cups almond meal
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
11/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup honey, melted
2 large eggs, room temperature

1/2 cup egg whites
4 crispy apples (recipe called for Gala) peeled, cored, sliced

For the cinnamon swirl
1 tablespoon cinnamon

1 tablespoon nutmeg

1 tablespoon coconut sugar

- mix all dry ingredients in a large bowl, in a smaller bowl mix eggs, egg whites, melted honey, vanilla 

Add to dry ingredients  stir until well combined and fold in apples. 

Pour into a non stick round pie pan, I lightly sprayed mine with coconut oil cooking spray.

Mix cinnamon swirl in a small dish and spread out on top, using a toothpick swirl it into batter. 

Bake 350 until toothpick comes out clean, took mine 30 minutes. 

Let cool and enjoy!

Happy Sunday

-JVW

Banana berry oatmeal smoothie

I have been playing around with filling (but not heavy) easy breakfast options. Overnight oats use to be my favorite go to option. But I don't tolerate them well anymore. 

I know oats are not technically GP friendly but when the serving size is cut down and you watch your fiber intake per day they can be! I use fitness pal app or note pad and paper. 

I found pre cooking my oats 1 cup water to 1/2 cup oats for 6 minutes then making overnight oats makes them a lot easy for me to digest.

I pre stew and strain my fruit in batches as part of my meal prep every week or two and freeze them. 

For this smoothie I used 

1 banana ,110 calories 0 fat, 3G fiber 

11/2 cups low fat coconut milk, 45 calories per cup, 4 g fat per cup, 1g fiber per cup.

1 cup stewed fruit berries. Depends on berries. 

11/2 cups cooked oats, 200 calories, 5g fat, 6 g fiber but it's divided by three servings. 

Blend on high for 1.5 minutes seperate into three containers and refrigerate.

They last for three days so it's worth the prep to have three breakfasts or snacks ready to enjoy!  Each under 150 calories! And oh so satisfying 

Enjoy

- JVW

Happy 2014

I can not believe it is a new year! 2013 was filled with wonderful and tough memories. We had great year with the girls, 9, 4, 2 are great ages. I turned 30 and we celebrated our annivesery with our first solo overnight in Saratoga NY without kids. A great family beach camping trip, making our own maple syrup, getting chickens, having a huge garden, list goes on. In all the fun was also months of stomach pain, vomiting, weight loss, ER visits, tests, more tests and more tests followed by stomach surgery in September. Since then I have been discovering and experimenting with what works and doesn't work for me and my stomach. I have also been trying to gain some  strength  and gain weight back. we are also trying to gain some sort of new normalize for me and my family. I hate them seeing me sick. 

Having had made it through the rough four months and out of surgery has made me feel so incredible blessed. I never felt closer, more trusting, more in love with my husband who has been so incredibly strong and loving and an amazing advocate for me. My girls who rallied, and went above and beyond to be helpful, kind, gentle and caring to me during my recovery. My step mother who dropped everything to be here with us when I got released from the hospital and my dear friend Davin who left her life in Boston for a few days to be here for me and take care and love on and spoil my little ladies. 

Family and friends are really what makes my life go round.

It's ironic how having GP can turn your world upside down and seem like the worst when in reality it not. Especially mine in comparison to others suffering. I pray mine stays manageable through out the years and that with more education, medical advancements and strict diet I can manage without further surgery or devices.

I am planning on doing a lot more reading and self discovery on the diet aspect of this disease. 

The basic food information out there seems bit ridiculous  to me, why isn't gluten eliminated, sugar, chemicals, over processed foods? A lot of the pain medicine that is subscribed has the side effect of slowing an already healthy  stomach imagine what it does to our already slow stomachs?! My stomach has always operated better on less processed foods. So why is white bread and jello packs recommended? I have yet to find an excellent source of recipes and research. I find a lot of Paleo recipes could work if altered slightly. They are a lot cleaner then most GP recipes I have found.

I will try and keep up with blogging recipes I find that seem to work well for me.

I hope everyone has a wonderful, healthy, happy and love filled 2014! 

- JVW 

Roasted chicken

Easy simple and delicious GP friendly roasted chicken

* i  wash and pat dry one whole chicken 

* place in a baking dish or roasting pan

* sprinkle a few teaspoons salt on the chicken

* squeeze the juice of one lemon all over * stuff with fresh herbs ( optional) 

*place chopped veggies around the chicken

Traditionally I  use peeled carrots, peeled potatoes or sweet potatoes

Roast @350 for 11/2 hours until liquid runs clean if sliced.i remove the veggies and refridgerated what I won't eat for dinner. let the chicken cool and peel off the skin and discard. Then slice all the meat off, this gives me clean healthy white meat for a few days plus a delicious dinner. Sometimes I use the remainder of the bird for chicken stock.

 I find having cooked meat and cooked root veggies available to me makes eating well during the week so much easier. 

 

Happy Monday 

Enjoy 

- JVW